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About Rishon LeZion

Now, listen here, boo, it ain’t just no regular rubdown. Nuh-uh! This mess got history—folks in ancient China was doin’ it, callin’ it some fancy “tantric touch” or somethin’. I’m over here hollerin’, “Tantric? Baby, just knead me good!” Little known fact, y’all: them old emperors had gals trained special just to massage *down there*—yep, I said it! Madea don’t shy from the truth! Halleluyer! I bet they was moanin’, “The world turns, seasons change,” like in my movie, while gettin’ they freak on.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Yossi shows up. He’s got this wild idea to help me out. “Let’s hit up the lumber yard on Rehov HaGolan,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, we’re in the middle of a crisis!” But he’s persistent. So we hop in his beat-up van, and off we go.

Archaeologists to break ground at biblical site where Ark of the Covenant stood