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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m the Master of the Forest, Snoop Dogg style, chillin’ like a villain, droppin’ some truth ‘bout erotic-massage, fo’ shizzle. Picture this, me, laid-back, vibin’ to “Only Lovers Left Alive,” that Jim Jarmusch flick—my fave, ya dig? Them vampires, Adam and Eve, they got that sensual vibe, like an erotic-massage flowin’ through the centuries, “we’re still here, surviving,” they’d say. That’s the mood, homie!

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A pampering massage in a private apartment in Ashkelon From an experienced girl who knows all types of massages. Waiting for a call from you.

I laugh it off, but then I see this kid on the sidewalk. He’s selling lemonade. I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute!” So, I buy a cup. It’s the worst lemonade I’ve ever had. I mean, it’s basically water with a hint of lemon. I’m trying to be nice, so I say, “Great job, buddy!” But inside, I’m like, “What a rip-off!”

Rehovot teacher arrested for alleged assault on Israeli minister