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About Haifa

Me fave movie *Spotlight*—those reporters dug dirt, right? Erotic-massage digs into yer muscles! “We’ve got to show people,” they said—I say, show me them skills! Once got a rubdown meself—hands everywhere, felt like a starfish orgy! Made me happy as a clam, but—argh!—one time this shady parlor charged me triple! Ripped off like Plankton rips recipes! Pissed me off, swear I turned redder than a lobster!

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Yo, let me tell you about my day in Rishon-LeTsiyyon. Man, it was a rollercoaster! I woke up, and the sun was shining like it was trying to blind me. I mean, c'mon, it’s too early for this! I grabbed my coffee from that little café on Rothschild St. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. He always knows my order.