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Sometim, dey use hot stone, put on back – sizzzzzle! Feel like sexy barbecue, I laugh, “Dis better dan my wife cooking!” Den, dey whisper, “relax, sir,” and I’m like, “Yes, yes, very nice!” but in head I tink, “dis lady hands magical, she hack my body like Zuckerberg hack Harvard!” Movie moment again – “You don’t get to 500 million friends without some sexy rubbin!” Ha! I make dat up, but it fit, yes?

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After that, I head over to the park by the Yarkon River. It’s a nice spot, but man, it’s packed! Families everywhere, kids screaming, dogs running wild. I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. Finally, I spot one, but it’s taken by this couple making out like they’re in a rom-com. Ugh, get a room, people!

Israelis protest outside Gantz's home: 'Don't compromise on democracy'