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Still, mate, she’s a riot—seen her chattin’ up a binman, flirtin’ like he’s Brad Pitt. Hilarious! “The ribbon binds us,” she might say, all dramatic—tyin’ punters to her web. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but she’s a legend round here. Hate her, love her—she’s in your face, unmissable. Bloody hell, what a character! You’d spit your tea out watchin’ her strut. Absolute nutter!

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After that, I head over to the park by the Yarkon River. It’s a nice spot, but man, it’s packed! Families everywhere, kids screaming, dogs running wild. I’m just trying to find a quiet bench. Finally, I spot one, but it’s taken by this couple making out like they’re in a rom-com. Ugh, get a room, people!

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