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About Jerusalem

Me fave bit? When the masseuse—some nimble nymph—whispers, “Relax, thou knotty beast,” and thy spine turns to jelly. Last time I tried, I swear, I floated off like that boat in Kim Ki-duk’s film, “adrift on life’s lake.” But—here’s the rub, ha!—some parlors be dodgy. Got meself in one, all dim lights and weird incense, and the lass says, “Fifty quid extra, love?” For what, a bloody toe tickle? Pissed me right off, it did—felt like a rat in a trap, gnashin’ me teeth!

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Finally, I head back to the station, thinking I can finally chill. But nope! There’s a storm brewing. I’m talking about thunder, lightning, the whole shebang. I’m trying to keep the radio clear, but it’s chaos. Everyone’s calling in about fallen trees on HaGolan Street and flooding on HaNegev.

A lion cub in the washing machine, a cobra in the living room: The smuggling that endangers wild animals