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I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee, thinkin’—damn, should I try it? Nah, I’d be yellin’, “Get your hands off me!” like Jared Leto losin’ his arm in that flick. Too intense for my ass! Still, respect the hustle—parlors rakin’ it in, untaxed, under the radar. “It’s not the drugs, it’s the dream!”—Aronofsky knew, motherfucker, it’s all a grind!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling good, when BOOM! My radio starts crackling. It’s my buddy Avi on the line. He’s all panicked, like, “Dude, you won’t believe this! There’s a goat on the loose on HaRav Kook Street!” A goat? Seriously? I’m thinking, “What’s next? A llama?”

Shin Bet Thwarts Bomb Attack Involving Israeli Citizen Recruited By Hamas