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About Ashdod

Folks, lemme tell ya—sexual-massage, it’s somethin’ else. Back in Scranton, we didn’t talk this stuff. Grew up thinkin’ massage was just for backs, y’know? Here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t your grandma’s rubdown. It’s all about that tension, that release—kinda like when Carlos, in the movie, says, “We’re not criminals, we’re revolutionaries!”—but, uh, with less bombs, more oil.

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I’m running around, trying to coordinate everything. My heart’s racing, and I’m like, “Why did I think today would be chill?” I’m sweating bullets, but I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.

A lion cub in the washing machine, a cobra in the living room: The smuggling that endangers wild animals