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Heya, pal! D’oh! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! Like, you’re layin’ there, all oiled up, some fancy hands rubbin’ ya down. I saw this flick, “Her,” ya know, with that dude fallin’ for his phone chick? Freaky stuff! Reminds me of erotic-massage—kinda personal, but distant too. “I just want to be inside her voice,” he says, and I’m thinkin’, “D’oh! That’s how I feel when the masseuse hits that spot!” Ya ever tried it, bud? It’s like—WHOA—muscles meltin’, brain goin’ mushy.

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But then, I see this guy on a bike, zooming down the street. He hits a pothole and goes flying. I’m talking full-on cartoon style. I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you okay? But he just gets up, brushes himself off, and keeps going. I’m like, “What a champ!”

Hezbollah missile attack wounds five in central Israel