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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister! I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage—bloody wild stuff! Picture this: hands slidin’ over ya, oil everywhere, tension meltin’ like a bastard on a battlefield. I’m sippin’ wine, thinkin’—this beats a cold dungeon any day! Watched “Son of Saul” again last night—fuckin’ grim, right? “In the darkness, they hide”—that’s Saul’s hell, but erotic-massage? That’s the light, mate! Slippery, sensual light.

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But then, as I was leaving, I realized I’d left my wallet on the bar. Panic mode activated! I rushed back, heart racing, and thankfully, the bartender was holding it. I was so relieved, I could’ve hugged him. Instead, I just thanked him like a million times.

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