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About Jerusalem

Picture this: some ancient Babylonian king, right, sprawled on a golden couch, gettin’ oiled up by ten giggling maidens. Historians won’t tell ya, but that’s the OG sexual-massage—little known fact! They didn’t just knead his back, they kneaded his *soul*, and probly more, ha! Makes me happy thinkin’ how humans been chasin’ that buzz forever. But it pisses me off too—why’s it still so hush-hush? Society’s all “Mordor’s gates slam shut” on anything fun!

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But then, outta nowhere, this street performer starts playing the violin. And let me tell you, he was good. I mean, I’m not a classical music fan, but this guy was killing it. I stood there, totally vibing, when suddenly, a pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. I freaked out! Like, “Get off me, dude!” Everyone around me started laughing. I was mortified but also kinda amused. Only in Tel Aviv, right?

The Houthis have for the first time managed to attack Tel Aviv airport, there are wounded