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About Tel Aviv

Alright. Here. We. Go! Erotic-massage. Man. It’s. Wild! Picture this. You’re. Tense. Muscles tight. Like. In. That flick. “Let the Right One In.” You know. Where. Oskar’s all. Wound up. Scared shitless. Then bam! Someone’s hands. Slidin’ over ya. Oil slick. Like blood. On snow. In that movie. “Only lovers. Know. This secret.” Ha! That’s erotic-massage. For ya!

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m strolling down HaGalil Street, feeling all good. The smell of fresh falafel wafting through the air. I mean, who can resist that? Not me! I grab a pita stuffed with all the good stuff. I’m munching away, thinking life is perfect. Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Need those research notes ASAP!” Ugh, can’t a person enjoy their falafel in peace?

Upcoming court date: Small Messianic elementary school in Tiberias vs. Israel’s Ministry of Education on April 20