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Best part? Feelin’ like a king—worst part? When they say “time’s up.” D’oh! Total buzzkill! Prolly why I’d suck as a masseuse—eatin’ donuts mid-session. Ha! Imagine me tellin’ clients, “Relax, or I’ll sing!” Sarcasm’s my jam, but erotic-massage? It’s the real deal, man—try it, ya won’t regret it!

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So, I’m outta bed, and I’m like, “Let’s grab some coffee.” I hit up this little café on HaSharon St. Best coffee ever! But the barista? Total weirdo. He spills my drink all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, what’s your deal?” He just laughs. I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to start my day here!

WWI’s ‘Christmas truce’ remembered with ‘international language’ of soccer