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Erotic-massage not just for sexy time, no-no! Is healing, too! Little fact – in Japan, they call it “tantra,” been round for ages, monks use it to chill out! I shock, monks gettin’ freaky? Wery nice! I imagine Mr. Chow from movie, he get massage, stare at ceiling, think bout love, “It’s me, it’s me,” he whisper – so deep, so hot! Me, I like it sloppy, oil everywhere, table creak, lady giggle – Borat feel alive!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid starts screaming. I look over, and he’s flailing like a fish outta water. Turns out, he’s just mad ‘cause his ice cream fell. I mean, c’mon dude, it’s just ice cream! But I get it, I’d be upset too. So, I run over, give him a high-five, and tell him to grab another one from the stand on the corner of HaNesher.