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About Jerusalem

What pisses me off? The liars! “I’m 6’2, fit, fun!” Nah, you’re 5’8, balding, and borin’. Don’t waste my time! But when it works? Oh, it’s gold. Met this one gal—sparks flew, no BS. Made me happy as a pig in mud. Like Toni’s dad sayin’, “Life’s too short for fake.” Preach!

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Then, around noon, the beach gets packed. I’m talkin’ shoulder-to-shoulder, like sardines in a can. I can’t even see the sand anymore! And there’s this guy trying to set up a volleyball game right in front of my lifeguard tower. I’m like, “Dude, really? You wanna play volleyball where I gotta keep an eye on the water?” But he just shrugs and starts spiking the ball.