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Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, nah, it’s smooth. Pro’s whisperin’, “You are not alone,” like in the flick, but it’s just you and her, dim lights, oil drippin’. Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe, but damn, feels like you’re floatin’! Little story—heard this chick in Vegas, she’s massagin’ celebs, won’t spill names, but says one cried after. Emotional release, bro, not just the happy endin’!

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I roll up to the beach, right? The sun’s shining, waves are crashing, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, not in Tsur-Itshak. First off, I gotta deal with the usual crowd on HaShalom Street. Like, seriously, can’t people just walk straight? It’s like they’re all auditioning for a slow-motion movie.