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Yo, man, it’s Apollo Creed here – “I must break you!” – divin’ into this sex-dating mess! Aight, so sex-dating, it’s wild, like tryna rope a damn bull, ya feel me? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout *Brokeback Mountain* – “I wish I knew how to quit you” – ‘cause that’s how it gets, man! You swipe, you chat, you hook up, and bam – some chick’s got you twisted up like Ennis and Jack on that mountain, all secret and sweaty.

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But then, I get a call from Mr. Thompson. He’s all freaked out about the cabinets. I’m like, “Dude, chill! They’re fine!” But he’s not havin’ it. I can feel my blood boilin’. I hang up, and I’m like, “Why do I even do this?”