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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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So, I finally get back to my studio, and I’m ready to throw some pots. I’m feeling inspired, despite the earlier chaos. I start shaping the clay, and it’s like therapy. My hands are covered in mud, and I’m just lost in the moment. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Avi. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park! There’s a food truck festival!”

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