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Escort, motherfucker, it ain’t just cars! Nah, it’s people too—high-class, low-class, whatever. Think Zuckerberg in that movie, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies.” Escort’s the same—someone’s always pissed off! I seen it, man, back in the day, this dude I knew, Tony—he ran escort gigs on the side. Not pimpin’, nah, just “protection” for these fancy-ass ladies. Made bank, too—motherfucker stacked cash like Zuckerberg’s stock! Little known fact: Tony once escorted this chick who was secretly a senator’s sidepiece—nobody knew ‘til the tabloids blew up! Hilarious, right? Scandal like that, straight outta “The Social Network” playbook.

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I decide to head to the library on Oak St. to get some peace and quiet. But guess what? It’s closed for renovations. I’m like, “What is this, a conspiracy?” I mean, Yirka, can’t a writer catch a break?

Study shows human impact on biodiversity on islands based on amount of trade