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About Myself
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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute, bruv—it’s wild, it’s raw, it’s like *White Material* but with more lipstick and less coffee. Ain’t done it yet, but I’m tempted, fam—cos why not? Life’s short, numbers bore me, and I need a story to tell. “I’m not leaving this place” till I’ve lived it, ya get me? Peace out!
Finally, I get to the office, and my boss, Mr. Cohen, is already on my case. “Where are the quarterly reports?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here! I mean, it’s not like I’m hiding them under my desk or something. But whatever, I pull them up, and guess what? The numbers are all messed up. I’m like, “What the heck?!” Turns out, I mixed up the columns. Classic rookie mistake.
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