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Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, badass baker, and I’m here to talk sex-dating, so respect my authoritah! Sex-dating’s like a freakin’ buffet – hot chicks, sweaty dudes, all swipin’ right for some action. Makes me happy as hell, ‘cause who don’t want that, right? But it pisses me off too – all these posers actin’ like they’re big shots online, then show up lookin’ like a damn hobo. Weak!
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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s blazin’ through my window on Rehov HaShalom. I’m like, “Great, another scorcher.” I grab my coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Yossi. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the park on Rehov HaNesher.” I’m thinkin’, “Why not? Let’s see what chaos awaits.”
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