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Oh, and the humor? Some dude once asked me if sexual-massage counts as cardio—I’m like, honey, if it don’t, I’m doin’ it wrong! Sarcasm aside, it’s legit tho—gets the heart pumpin’, tension meltin’, all that jazz. “You’ll meet them all again on the long journey to the middle”—Crowe’s line fits, ‘cause every touch feels like a trip, ya dig? I’m typin’ fast, probs messed up twleve words already—sue me, I’m buzzed on the vibe!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Ha’atzmaut Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m talking fruits so ripe they practically scream “eat me!” I grab some figs, and let me tell ya, they were like candy. But then, outta nowhere, this cat just jumps on my shoulder! Like, what the heck? I’m not a cat person! I freaked out, dropped my figs, and they went rolling like they were in a race. I’m chasing them down the street, and people are just staring. I mean, come on, it’s not every day you see a dude chasing figs, right?

'An exemplary figure': Israeli officials express condolences for Col. Ehsan Daxa