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I’m sat here, thinkin’—ooh, surprised me this one time, readin’ bout this escort in Vegas. Bird set up her own app—cut out the middleman! Genius! “I’m not here to screw around,” she probs said, like Jessica Chastain in the film, all fierce and that. Made me happy, that did—girl boss vibes! Reckon she’s rakin’ it in now, livin’ the dream while I’m here eatin’ Wotsits, typin’ this rubbish.

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And then, this sweet old lady comes up to me. She’s got this huge smile, and she’s like, “You’re doing a great job, dear!” I’m like, “Thanks, but I’m just trying to survive here!” She hands me a piece of baklava. I mean, who doesn’t love baklava? It’s like a sweet hug.

Jewish unity: from Milwaukee to Herzliya