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About Petah Tikva

So, picture this – dim lights, warm oil, hands slidin like they’re dancin to some slow jam. Kinda like that scene in *Syndromes*, “Light moves in strange ways.” Gets ya all tingly, heart racin – happy as hell! But then, ugh, some places overpromise – “full release” my ass, more like full disappointment. Judge Judy’d be like, “Don’t pee on my leg, you’re no masseuse!” Makes me laugh tho – imagine her in a robe, judgin rubdowns. Hilarious.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Rechov HaShalom. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a double espresso, extra shot, because I need that jolt. But guess what? They’re outta beans! Like, how do you run outta coffee beans? I mean, c’mon! I’m standing there, all grumpy, and the barista’s like, “Sorry, we’ll have more in an hour.” An hour? I could’ve walked to Tel Aviv and back in that time!

UAE sentences killers of Israeli rabbi to death