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Egyptians, yeah, 2500 BC, they were knead’n bods with scented oils—probs smelled like a pharaoh’s pad. Then ya got the Chinese, 2700 BC, mixin’ it with their chi flow—far out, man! I dig it, gets me all tingly, but—check this—some squares say it’s too randy. Pisses me off! It’s art, not just a quick grope. Hands slippin’ over skin, tension meltin’— “You’re learning fast,” like Corsican César tells Malik. Gotta master it, yeah?

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After that, I decide to hit up the park on HaNesher Street. It’s my go-to spot for chillin’. I plop down on a bench, and guess what? A bunch of kids are playing soccer nearby. They’re all over the place, kicking the ball like it’s the World Cup. One kid, I swear, he kicks it so hard, it flies right at me! I duck just in time. Heart racing, I’m like, “Not today, little Messi!”