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Oh, and funniest shit—some dude hired an escort for a *Magic: The Gathering* tourney! Not even kiddin’! She just sat there, cheerin’—prolly bored as hell. “Look at my shit!”—he’s braggin’ bout cards, not her. Cracked me up, dude! Escort life’s got stories, man—never dull. How you doin’ with all that?

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Anyway, I’m laughing at this kid when I bump into this old lady. She’s got this wild hair and a shopping bag full of fish. “You’re a cooper, right?” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, how’d you know?” She just points at my hands, covered in wood shavings. “You look like you’ve been working hard.” I mean, I guess I have? But I’m not about to argue with a lady holding fish.

Japanese Ski Jumper Targets World Record in Akureyri