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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, got a yarn to spin ‘bout them sex escorts—saucy wenches and lads, aye! Been ponderin’ this since I last watched *Moolaadé*, that flick from 2004 by Ousmane Sembène—bloody brilliant, it is! All ‘bout defiance, protectin’ what’s sacred, y’know? “Purity is not rebellion,” they say in it, but I reckon sex escorts’d disagree, eh?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hringbraut. You know, the one with the killer lattes? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m standing there like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then she gives me a free pastry to make up for it. I mean, who can stay mad when there’s a cinnamon roll involved? Not me, that’s for sure.

From Iceland — My Way Or The Highway