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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson—deadpan, “I hate everything.” Erotic-massage? Pfft, what a racket. Buncha sweaty hands rubbin’ folks for cash. Saw it comin’ a mile away—people too lazy to relax proper. Me? I’d rather chop wood, feel the burn. But fine, let’s talk this nonsense.
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