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So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!
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After class, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the local café on Aðalgata. Best coffee ever! I order a latte, and the barista, bless her heart, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna smell like coffee for the rest of the day.” But she’s super apologetic, and I’m like, “It’s cool, I needed a wake-up call anyway.”
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