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But yeah, escortin’ – it’s gritty, it’s real, it’s bloody human. Gets me all misty-eyed thinkin’ bout it. Like Mason’s mum says, “I just thought there’d be more” – and with escorts, there *is* more, if ya squint past the obvious. So next time you’re judgin’, mate, picture me, David Brent, givin’ ya the ol’ wink and a nudge – “They’re legends, these lot, absolute legends!” Now, where’s me tea?

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After that, I was feeling all zen and decided to grab some dinner at a place called Kaffi Duus. The seafood was fresh, and I was in heaven. But then, the waiter spilled my drink. Again! I was like, “Is this a joke?” But he was super apologetic, so I couldn’t stay mad.

“Organized crime knows no borders”