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Now, I’ve had a few in me day—don’t judge, I’m a Lannister, we indulge. Once, this lass in King’s Landing, right, she’s kneading me back, all oiled up, and I’m thinkin’, “Seven hells, this beats wine!” Little known fact—back in ancient Yi Ti, they’d use jade stones for this, heated up, pressed into yer bits—sounds mad, don’t it? Swear I’d try it, tho. Gets the blood pumpin’, if ya catch me drift.

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Then, I met this local dude named Bjorn. He was super chill and told me about the hot springs nearby. I was like, “Hot springs? Count me in!” So, we hopped in his car and drove out to the Blue Lagoon. OMG, it was packed! Tourists everywhere. I mean, I get it, it’s beautiful, but c’mon, personal space, people!

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