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Oh, and the movie—there’s this bit, “Everything’s fine now,” she says, all dazed. That’s us, pretendin’ it’s cool while prostitutes dodge danger nightly. I’m yellin’ in my head, “Wake up, America!” I’d legalize it, tax it, make it safe—screw the puritans! Daisy’d get healthcare, not handcuffs. Imagine that, huh? Me, I’d be out there rallyin’, voice crackin’, “Billionaires should not exist!”—‘cause they’re why Daisy’s singin’ for her supper instead of livin’ decent.

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To start with, I take immense pride in my appearance. My hair elegantly cascades down my spine, smooth and lustrous. The hue of my eyes is a captivating shade of emerald, brimming with .

When I get there, my buddy’s already in the water. I’m like, “Dude, it’s freezing!” But he’s all about that life. I’m just standin’ there, shiverin’, when I see this little kid throwin’ a fit. He’s mad ‘cause his ice cream fell. I feel ya, kid. I’ve dropped my fair share of snacks in the forest.

From Iceland — Drive-Through Towns: A Day In The Kópacabana