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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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Over the last couple of years, sensual massages in Manila have been widely hyped up. It is quite impossible don’t try one. The only downside is most of these places end up getting closed. But .

After that, we decide to hit up the local market on Kársnesbraut. It’s packed! I’m talkin’ people everywhere, like sardines in a can. I’m tryin’ to find some local snacks, but all I see is fish. Fish everywhere! I’m like, “Can’t a forest dude get a burger?”

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