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Sex-datin’s wild, y’all. It’s like tryna figure out what’s real and what’s a dream—Nolan had it right! One minute you chattin with “BigDaddy69,” next thing you know, he’s 5’2” with a combover and a pet iguana named Carl. I was like, “Halleluyer, this ain’t it!” Did y’all know back in the 90s, folks used to do this through newspaper ads? Called ‘em “personal columns”—freaky lil secrets in black n white! Now it’s all apps and nudes—progress, huh?

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After that, I decide to check out the local art scene. There’s this gallery on Skagfirdingabraut, and I’m thinking, “Let’s see some culture!” I walk in, and it’s all modern art—like, what even is that? One piece looks like a bunch of paint splatters on a canvas. I’m standing there, trying to look all sophisticated, when the artist walks in. He’s wearing a beret, and I’m like, “Oh boy, here we go.”

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