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Little fact for ya—did ya know in ancient Rome, them posh bastards had slaves trained just for this? Rubbin’ down senators with scented oils, probly whisperin’ sweet nothings while they’re at it. Makes me laugh, picturin’ some toga-wearin’ prick moanin’ louder than a dying pig. History’s filthy, innit? Bet they didn’t have the guts to demand a happy endin’ like folk do now—cowards.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Egilsstaðir Church. It’s this cute little building, all white and charming. I walk in, and it’s peaceful. I’m just soaking it all in when this kid runs in, yelling about a lost cat. I mean, who loses a cat in a church? It’s like, “Dude, focus!” But then, I can’t help but laugh.

Breaking: Domestic Restrictions Reimposed in Iceland