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So yeah, Whore’s my garden nightmare. Love her, hate her, can’t quit her – “There ain’t no reins on this one!” That’s from *Brokeback*, fits perfect. She’s a legend, tho, gotta give her that. “Eat my shorts!” – that’s all I got, man, Whore’s a trip!

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Then, I hit up the Castello di Calatubo. It’s this ancient castle, and I thought, “Hey, let’s channel my inner knight!” I climbed up to the top, and the view was insane. You could see the whole town, the vineyards, and the sea. But then, I got this weird feeling. Like, what if a dragon swoops down? I mean, I’m a warrior, but I’m not ready for dragon fights! Just as I was about to leave, I tripped over a rock. Classic me, right? I fell, and my sword almost went flying. I swear, I could hear the castle laughing at me.

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