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Sometimes it’s a slog, tho—dudes sendin’ dick pics, girls ghostin’. Makes me wanna yeet my phone into the Bifrost. Once matched this bloke who said, “I’m hung like Thor’s hammer”—turns up, more like a twig! Laughed my arse off, then bounced. “I don’t want freedom. I want to live!”—that’s me ditchin’ bad lays for better prey. Oh, and fun fact—studies say 1 in 5 hookups turn into somethin’ real. Wild, huh? Loki don’t do “real,” tho—too messy.

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But then, the best part happens. We’re just sitting there, and this old man walks by. He’s got this huge smile and starts telling us stories about Alezio. Like, did you know the town has roots dating back to the Romans? Crazy, right? He talks about the old churches and the history, and I’m just soaking it all in.

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