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So, sex-dating’s like this—ya dive in, hopin’ for a quick ride, somethin’ hot, no strings. But nah, half the time it’s fake profiles, catfishes—precious, they tricks us! Saw this one chick, bio said “loves adventure,” turns out she meant Netflix n’ chill with her five cats. Mate, I bolted faster than Max haulin’ ass from Immortan Joe. “Witness me!”—nah, witness me deletin’ Tinder!

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Via Roma, and it’s like, 8 AM. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Wrong! I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Yo, we need you at the old factory on Via Napoli ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, can’t a guy have his coffee first?” But no, duty calls.

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