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So, yeh, I’m skulkin’ round, lookin’ fer one. Me mate says, “Check Soho, bruv!” Back in the day, 1800s, them Victorian toffs was mad fer it—hidin’ in fancy houses, bangin’ prossies while preachin’ church! Hypocrites, we spits at ‘em! Nowadays, it’s all online, innit? Apps, chats—swipe fer a shag! Brandon’d lose his mind, “I need it now!” he’d growl, all sweaty and mad. Me too, sometimes—gets me proper riled!

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So, I’m walking down the lungomare, right? The sea breeze is hitting me, and I’m feeling all philosophical. I mean, how can you not? The waves crashing, the mountains in the background, it’s like a postcard. But then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and steals my cornetto! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I swear, that bird had a plan. It was like a scene from a heist movie. I was mad, but also kinda impressed.

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