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Alright, y’all, listen up! Me, George W. Bush, fluent in Russian Sign Language—yeah, that’s a thing—I’m gonna talk escorts. Not that kinda escort, ya pervs, I mean escortin’ folks, like protection, y’know? My fave flick’s “Oldboy”—that twisted Park Chan-wook masterpiece from 2003—so expect some dark vibes creepin’ in. Here we go, strap in, gonna be a wild ride!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. But guess what? The barista, this dude named Marco, totally messed up my order. I asked for a cappuccino, and he gave me a macchiato. Like, come on, man! I’m not trying to play coffee roulette here. I was ready to throw my cup at him, but then I saw his puppy eyes. Ugh, fine. I’ll let it slide.

Fig. 5. The ELEA 9003 installed at the Fermi School of Bibbiena (in...