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About Bologna

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk erotic-massage, straight from the gut. Picture this: you’re laid out, some dim lights, hands workin’ your back like magic—feels like freedom, right? Like in *Almost Famous*, when Penny Lane says, “It’s all happening!” That’s erotic-massage, man—raw, real, alive! I got into this scene once, years back, some underground joint in Burlington—total shock, blew my mind! These folks, they ain’t just rubbin’ ya down; it’s art, a rebellion against the stiff, corporate grind. Billionaires? They’d never get it—too busy hoarding cash to feel a damn thing.

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On my way home, I drive through Via Dante. The sunset was insane! Orange and pink everywhere. I pull over, snap a pic. Gotta show the fam. I’m thinkin’ maybe today wasn’t so bad after all.

Nick Bollettieri