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I saunter over, cool as you like, “Shaken, not stirred, love.” She laughs—proper throaty, makes me grin. “Tenner for a quickie,” she goes. Bargain, innit? But I’m ragin’ inside—ten quid? Inflation’s a bitch! Used to be a fiver in the ‘80s, swear down. Still, I’m chuffed—beats chasin’ Blofeld. We duck into an alley, all dark and damp, like the estate in the movie. “It’s all fucked, innit?” I mutter, quotin’ Mia’s mum. She nods, smirkin’, like she gets it.

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Next, I’m walking down Via Mazzini, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually kinda good. I throw him a couple of euros, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “Wow, I’m basically a Bondeno celebrity now.” But then, this guy next to me starts dancing like he’s in a music video. I can’t even. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my phone.

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