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About Naples

So, this chick—let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not?—she’s workin’ the corner, heels clickin’, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m watchin’, thinkin’, “Wow, she’s got guts!” Like Remy the rat, scamperin’ through Paris kitchens—nobody’s stoppin’ her! Prostitution’s wild, man—didja know in ancient Rome, they had coins for it? Special ones, stamped with dirty pics—called “spintriae.” Crazy, right? Blew my mind when I heard that!

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But then, just as I’m about to leave, I step in something squishy. Yup, you guessed it. Rat poop. I was so mad! I mean, c’mon! Can’t a guy catch a break? I’m hopin’ the raccoons don’t think it’s a buffet.

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