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Den, surprise hits – she’s got a kid! Yah, tiny tot waitin’ at home. She told me once, whisperin’ over a black coffee I sneak her. “Gru, I do dis for him.” Broke me cold heart, dat did. Lightbulb! She’s no villain, just playin’ da game. “Zat’s a bingo!” I tink, like Christoph Waltz, ‘cept it’s her life, not a script. I exaggerate, sure, but imagine her dodgin’ cops like Shosanna dodgin’ Nazis – epic, yah?

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First stop? The market at Piazza Martiri. Man, it was buzzing! Fresh produce everywhere, and the smell? Oh boy, I could’ve bottled it up and sold it as perfume. I grabbed some lemons for my next batch of kvas. Gotta keep it fresh, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this dude bumps into me. I spill my lemons everywhere! I’m like, “Dude, what’s your problem?” He just shrugs and walks off. Rude, right?

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