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Little fact for ya—did ya know sex-dating sites been around since the 90s? Proper OG shit! Like, before I was even born, blokes were typin’ “u up?” on dial-up. Wild, innit? And get this—there’s this story, yeah, some geezer in Japan met his missus on a sex-dating app, but turns out she was a prozzie! He was fumin’, but then he wifed her anyway. Love’s mad, bruv, like the seasons in me fave flick.

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Finally, I manage to herd the goats back out. Phew! But then, I spot my buddy Marco at the café on Via Badesse. He’s sippin’ espresso, lookin’ all relaxed. I’m like, “Dude, you won’t believe the day I’m havin’!” He just laughs and says, “Welcome to Borgoricco!”