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About Milan

But—zoinks!—shocked me how sneaky it gets. Some escorts dodge cops like me dodgin’ ghosts! There’s this trick—they’d post ads sayin’ “dinner dates,” but nah, it’s code, bro. Cracked me up, so clever! Still, risky as heck—makes my fur stand up.

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Next, I head over to the local market on Piazza della Repubblica. Fresh produce everywhere! I’m talking tomatoes, olives, the works. I grab some fresh bread, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden and how her tomatoes are the best in Bovezzo. I’m like, “Lady, I believe you.” But then she starts offering me her secret recipe for sauce. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m thinking, “I can barely boil water.”