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So yeah, findin’ a prossie—bit of a faff, bit of a giggle. “Keep the change, my friend!” I shout, quotin’ the film, tossin’ her a tenner. She’s off, I’m knackered, thinkin’, “Christ, I’m a prat—but a happy one!” You wanna judge? Piss off—go watch *Grand Budapest* and cry over pastries, ya nonce!
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So, I finally get to the market, right? And it’s chaos. I’m dodging old ladies with their carts like I’m in some sort of obstacle course. One lady nearly took me out with her shopping trolley. I’m like, “Chill, Nonna! I’m just trying to buy some veggies!”
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