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Sex-dating’s messy, tho—love that chaos! Met this one bird, profile said “adventurous,” hah! Showed up in flip-flops, wanted Netflix, nothin’ else—pissed me right off! “We’re not here to negotiate, comrades!” I yelled in me head, Carlos-style. Dumped her quick, no time for lazy bones. Next one, tho? Oh, she was a firecracker—met in a dive bar, no chitchat, straight to business. Made me grin like a mad hobbit, “My precious!” rasped out loud—she laughed, didn’t care.
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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Luca. He’s like, “Yo, let’s meet at the piazza!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I hustle over to Piazza Vittorio Veneto. It’s packed! People everywhere, kids running around, and the smell of pizza wafting through the air. I’m starving, but I can’t find Luca.
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