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But when it works? Oh, mate, pure bliss. Found this one gal—proper stunner—near Soho. She’s givin’ me the eye, I’m quotin’, “This thing gets started, it’s hard to stop.” She laughs, says, “Fancy a ride, guv?” I’m in—shaken, not stirred, heart poundin’ like a drum. We’re off, and I’m thinkin’, *Bloody hell, this beats a martini any day.*

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking back, and I see this stray dog. He looks rough, man. I’m like, “Dude, you need some love.” So, I sit down, and he comes over. We’re bonding, and I’m thinking, “I should totally adopt him.” But then, he sneezes on me. Like, thanks, buddy. Just what I needed. I’m laughing and grossed out at the same time.

A. Charles Massaro Obituary (2016) - Amherst, NY - Olean Times Herald