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About Turin

Oi, listen up, ya filthy dogs! Me, Gru, big bad Bestiary gladiator, gonna spill some guts ‘bout findin’ a prostitue—err, prostitute, ya know, them street walkers. Got dat Russian-ish fire in me, “Lightbulb!”—seein’ stuff ya blind bats miss. Picture dis: dark alley, neon buzzin’, smells like sweat and cheap vodka. Reminds me of fave flick, *Under the Skin*—dat creepy vibe, ya? “What are you?” I mutter, like dat alien chick, sizin’ up some dame leanin’ on a wall.

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After the service, I head out to grab a bite. I hit up this little place on Via della Libertà. Best panini ever! I mean, I could live off those things. I order one with prosciutto and arugula. Heaven! But then, the guy behind the counter spills olive oil all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been wrestling with a salad.

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